I’m so angry at life. It’s pathetic how I’ve given up. I could be strong but instead I have allowed myself to break. I cannot talk, I cannot love and I cannot stop thinking. I’m angry at life.
My paradise is no longer missing you. I don’t want you back in my life. You’re gone from my morning and nights so why aren’t you gone from my heart? Why can I smell you on my clothes? Hear you on the street? Why do I see you in my dreams? Why do you haunt me? I gave you all of me, the best of me and you’ve left me with the pieces. With broken memories and empty promises. My paradise used to be kissing you. My paradise was you in my life. Now I’m empty and I cannot sleep. It’s not because you’re not with me it’s because you are always there. I watch you from afar living out your paradise, and I’m in hell because your paradise has not a trace of my broken heart in sight
1. I don’t like folding laundry or talking about my emotions. I’m likely to leave both scattered all over.
2. I’m not much for cooking but there will always be coffee.
3. I’ll wear anything of yours with sleeves. I love when they’re long enough to wrap around my hands.
4. Sometimes the world is too harsh, too big. It’s hard to leave the house on days like those.
5. When I was sick as a kid my mom would run a bath for me and wash my hair. It was always so soothing. Maybe you could do that every once in a while.
6. I find it difficult to finish most things. My room is home to countless journals of incomplete thoughts.
7. I won’t love you any less in December. I think my heart just wasn’t meant for the cold.
8. I never truly know why I’m crying so don’t bother to ask, simply be there.
9. There’s whiskey in the medicine cabinet.
10. If things get terribly bad, please don’t give up. Get me in the car and drive to the sea. The waves beneath my toes will wake me up and I’ll be yours again.
So I’ve finally moved on after the whole josh fiasco and now I find my self caught in the problem of liking the guy from the office but not being allowed to because of his no student worker relationship clause in his contract.